


weakness

by themonkeytwin



Series: and as we wind on down the road [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lucifer's Cage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themonkeytwin/pseuds/themonkeytwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because did you really think there was anything Sam could do to protect Adam?</p>
            </blockquote>





	weakness

**Author's Note:**

> A collection of comment fic based on prompts taken from dialogue from the episodes, but otherwise unrelated. Ranges all over the people and places of the SPN-verse, so something for everyone. Or most people. Some people, anyway. Attempts to stay within Show canon at the time of writing.
> 
> Prompt: 3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock  
>  **Dean: What is wrong with you, huh? She lying, you gotta know that, don't you? She knows what your weakness is, it's me.**
> 
>  
> 
> spoilers up to 5.22 Swan Song

I didn't spend much time thinking about Hell. About what it would be like in the Cage. I could not afford to; dwelling on what awaited me down there could only weaken at my determination to jump.

So I shut that part of me away and focused on the mission and if I thought about it at all, it was only to do everything I could to make sure I saw it through. I would atone. I would save the world. I would save my brother. I would overcome the evil inside me; I would finally know I am _good_ , if only by damning myself to Hell.

I couldn't always keep it out. But never, in the darkest of thoughts, did I expect this. I thought it would just be me. Me and Lucifer, and I could just keep fighting – the way Dad taught me, the way Dean taught me. Forever, until there was nothing left to fight with. I'm not delusional, I knew I'd lose. But I also knew that, finally, I would be the only one to suffer because of it.

I raise my head to meet my little brother's eyes, and I break into pieces all over again. I've lost count how many times and how many ways a person can come apart.

We're decades past the moment Lucifer and Michael convinced Adam to pick up a scalpel. The poor kid, he was so ... tormented. I didn't blame him. But I'd run out of ways to protect him a long time ago; every impulse to do so was like catnip to them, and if this meant they'd stop scourging him in front of me, if he could get some relief, the work he went to on me was a small price to pay.

We're years past the moment Lucifer suggested to me that maybe I _could_ save him. I honestly don't know if I really believed him, but by then anything seemed possible. If I could just destroy Adam _enough_ , if I could take him down to motes and cut them up too, maybe he'd be gone.

We're months past the moment I knew he'd never be gone. That neither of us would ever be gone. There are bits of both of us all over this Cage, and there are archangels hating each other through us, and I don't really have anything else to do for the rest of eternity. Who knows? Maybe while it's my turn I'll discover something that really will help. I always was good at research.

There's a knife in my hands. And I know just where to start.


End file.
